Nobody's Tool
by Lura Vila
Summary: He used her. She let him. She was nothing more than a tool to him. She refused to see this. Now someone else comes into her life willing to accept her for who he she is. Set at the end of the L Arc.


Pairing: L/Misa

Warnings: Cursing, Heavy References To Suicide

Disclaimer: I do not own _Death Note_ or any of its characters.

Author's Note: I decided to rewrite this a little bit and fix a few mistakes. It's not totally different, but I think it is better written than previously. I may decide to rewrite _The Oddity of Some People_, but I'm not sure if I will or not.

* * *

It had been five days. Five days since she had been released from confinement. Five days since she had returned home. Five days since she had last seen his face.

So why was it him on the other side of her apartment door as she answered it?

He stood there in front of her, wearing the white T-shirt and jeans he usually wore. No shoes on his feet. Messy, black hair in his face, and thumbs in his pockets. His posture was hunched as always.

"What brings Ryuuzaki to see Misa?" Misa asked the detective, cheerily. Though she wished not to see him, Misa had to keep on a friendly façade. She had regained her memories and knew now that he was her enemy, but she had become his friend before that. She had to keep up the image so not to make him more suspicious of her than he already was.

She glanced quickly above his head. His true name and lifespan were visible to her. Misa had to keep herself from smirking; replacing it with the joyful look she had been showing all this time. She would now be able to kill him once he left. Light would be so pleased with her.

His eyes widened, dead, black ones stared down into her bright browns. Although his back was not straightened, he still towered over her.

"May I come in?" he asked, ignoring her question.

She nodded then opened the door wider so he could enter. As soon as he was completely inside, she shut the door. The blonde was about to open her mouth to repeat her earlier question but was cut off by his speaking first.

"Why do you love Light, Misa-san?" he kept his back turned as he asked.

The question didn't surprise her. He had asked it to her on many occasions before now. It wasn't a shocker that he would ask again, hoping to get information out of her.

"Misa already told Ryuuzaki the answer to that! It was love at first sight. Like a magical connection. Just by looking at him, Misa knew Light was the one for her. She knew he was the love of her life," the blonde model answered as she crossed her arms.

"But are you the love of his life, Misa-san? Do you think he loves you, or do you believe he is using you for his own gains?" L asked turning his head so his gaze met hers.

Unlike the question before, Misa was taken aback by this one. She wasn't ignorant of the odd man's doubts. She just never expected him to be so blunt about it. Then again, he never really beat around the bush about anything so maybe it wasn't so surprising.

"Light loves Misa. Misa is very certain of that," she lied but didn't let her doubt show. Deep down she knew the man she loved didn't love her back but had subconsciously convinced herself otherwise.

"I don't believe you," L stated flatly.

"Just because he doesn't show it often that doesn't mean he doesn't love me," Misa told the detective. She was becoming very annoyed and angry with his suspicion of Light's love for her.

"If he loves Misa-san so much, then why does he date other girls? Unless he is trying to prove something, there is no point to," the raven-haired man told her,

He had her on that one, but she was not about to admit defeat. Misa may not have been as smart as L, but she was not a complete idiot either. He was trying to get information out of her by attacking her insecurities, and she wasn't going to give in to him.

"Ryuuzaki, haven't you ever heard that someone can be in love with someone and never know it for years?" Misa told him what she had been telling herself for the past year, but it didn't convince him like it did her.

L turned completely to face the model then walked closer to her. His eyes bore deep into hers as if he was searching her soul for something valuable.

"Someone can be in a state of denial for just as long," he told in a counter to her question.

This only infuriated Misa more. Not just at him, but herself as well. She was angry at him for knocking down the wall of false belief she had built around herself to convince herself her savior really did love her, and she was mad at herself for building that wall in the first place.

Misa built a similar wall with every relationship she had. She so desperately sought out someone to love her, but all she ever got were strings that controlled her. She wished to never be lonely so bad that she threw away her self-respect to achieve it, she couldn't bring herself to accept the cruel reality of the truth: that no one truly loved her.

Her fists clenched in frustration, and her body shook. Tears wanted to form, but Misa would not let them. She would not let her enemy see her in such a state of weakness. She would not give him that satisfaction.

"So you're basically telling Misa that no one loves Misa? Do you really find her that stupid? She doesn't care if Light doesn't love her. Misa doesn't care if no one loves her just so long as they pretend because false love is better than none," Misa told him angrily. She was not going to take his mental harassment anymore. She was going to tell him to leave, but then he told her something that really stunned her.

"That is not true. I love you, Misa-san."

Her rage only soared when hearing this. Was that what he here came for? Was that the reason he was trying to break her down? So she would run and cry in his arms? So she would love him? Then there was another emotion that came over her.

Misa sank to her knees and stared down at the ground. Her mind could not hold in the all of the emotions she was bottling up and was putting the weight on her body. Her hands rested on the floor to support her body. In the insanity of it all, Misa began to laugh sadly.

"I don't fucking love you! Why the hell should I believe you love me?" Misa asked as her head rose to so she could look the young detective in the eye.

"Why would I lie? If I had something to gain, I would have found something better to lie about. You do not have to believe me. I was not expecting you to. I just thought maybe you might like yourself a bit better if you knew someone really does love you for who you are and not what you can do. That is all."

Misa believed him now. She could see it in his eyes. Usually blank, they now showed sincerity. If he was trying to fool her, then he would have been nicer and try to butter her up. Instead, he was cruel in his response. Though said softy, the words were still harsh.

"I do love you, though. That is no lie," he said as he just stood where he was, looking down at her.

"Why? Why do you love me?" Misa asked him in a whisper.

"Why not?" was all he said in reply.

Her eyes closed, and her head fell to face the ground. The emotions she tried to bottle up were slowly leaking out through her tears.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Misa asked in a soft but sad voice.

"No. What I see, when I look at you, is a girl who gives so much love with hopes of getting it in return; but instead, gets grief from the one she holds dearest to her heart."

Misa's head shot up at his surprising words. Did he mean that? That and more questions went through Misa Amane's head as she tried to decipher if the words were truthful or not, only to decide that they were.

Misa soon rose to her feet in an unsteady manner then slowly wobbled over to this man that claimed to love her. Her body fell to his in an embrace that held her from falling. Her head rested on his chest as she began to cry. She felt his body tense up as she did so.

"Stay with me tonight," Misa told the lanky man as she held herself up with his thin body.

"Misa-san, I can't –"L began to reply but was cut off by her.

"Please, just tonight. Please, stay with me tonight. Love me tonight."

* * *

Misa stood in the middle of a forest just outside of a city in France. Over year had passed since that night she spent with L – over a year since his death. Light had tricked Rem into killing the great detective which killed the Shinigami as well; however, that was what concerned Misa the least for she had bigger problems to deal with.

Four months after the brief affair, Misa was forced to flee Japan to Europe to hide the truth from Light. She had told him that she was being forced into starring in a movie in Europe and would be gone for almost a year. Misa also told him that it would be difficult to keep in contact with him because of her busy schedule.

She gave him her notebook to keep while she was gone, hoping this would keep him from killing her. When asked why she did not take it, she responded by telling him that it would be hard to find the privacy to continue killing criminals.

Misa knew he was too intelligent to believe such a lie, but maybe leaving her notebook with him would prove she was not a threat to him. She could only hop it was.

The truth was Misa no longer wanted to be his tool, but she would not be able to tell him this. Her life would be in danger if she did so, and although there was the fact that she could write his name in her note, she couldn't bring herself to kill Light. She still held deep feelings for him. She still loved him, but she had to protect the secret she kept from him.

That was why Misa had come to this forest alone. The finale part of her plan would be set into action, and Light would know of her betrayal. Now that her secret was safe from him, she would not have to hide her unfaithfulness from him.

Misa held a crumpled piece of paper tightly in her left hand as her right pulled the trigger. The sound of the gun going off rung throughout the forest and blonde's figure fell to the ground, her hand still gripping the piece of paper that read: _I am not your tool anymore._


End file.
